Top 7 Tips to Battle Inner Criticism and Self Doubt
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Have you heard saying, “Everyone’s a critic?” What if I told you that the biggest, harshest critic can be found in the mirror? It’s especially true in hard-hitting if your personality falls within one that leans towards being hard on yourself. You can put yourself in a cycle of never-ending criticism and mindset blocks that can either make you struggle in your everyday life or within your business.
Learn more about your personality here.
A lot of people will tell you to just ignore the thoughts of your negative feedback toward yourself. However, being somebody who is very hard on themselves, I find it a lot better to listen to myself and try to work through why I feel that way. There are different ways to reflect either you can just sit and listen or you can write down all of your fears and all of your barriers and all of your criticism. You have to go into this with the goal that you will not allow the negative self-talk to dominate your mind but yet you’re going to challenge every single thought that is putting a stop to your plans to your goal to your life.
I am going to share a few ways to get out of your way to keep the criticism at bay and reclaim your productivity.
Before we start, I just want to note that if you are overwhelmed, that is a very common time for negative self-talk to come in. Make sure you have a system with your goals broken down into actionable steps. I personally like using Asana (you can use Trello or any task management system..even a notebook and calendar). Try not to work on more projects than you can handle. Now, that can vary from person to person but in general, keep it to about 3 big tasks or project pieces a week and 7 – 10 actionable steps a day. If each actionable step is taking too long. that means you need to break it down further. Once you’re out of being overwhelmed, you may be able to handle more.
1. Have somewhere to put all of your worries
You can have a Worry List, Worry Box, or Worry Journal. If you want to be completely digital, you can have a file with voice memos of your worries. The point of this little exercise is to get it out there say it, write it, feel it, process it and move forward.
2. Try to add something positive to your day
I don’t necessarily mean trying to find a positive moment of your day. However, to be either intentionally productive or mindlessly productive is a positive point of your day. A few examples, depending on your personality, you can go and completely clean your bathroom until it sparkles or you can get on your computer and start deleting files that you don’t need. Whatever your heart is desiring to do, what you are inclined to do, accomplishing a task or activity helps to feel somewhat productive, even when your mind is blocking you from everything else.
I’ll try not to get too woo-woo on you, but affirmations to really work. This playlist has a few different choices you can pick from, depending on what affirmations you feel like you need. A lot of the times, you may need the ones for strength or courage. This is where positive self-talk comes in and if you need prompts for it, affirmations are a great place to start. Another thing you can do which is closely related to affirmations is to meditate. There are some apps for this if you need to to be guided:
Calm has an app for Android and iOS.
Headspace has an app for Android and iOS.
4. The Buddy System
Sometimes you literally need to get out of your own head. And even if you write everything down, if you talk to yourself in a mirror, anything, most of the time it will not replace the amazing benefits of having another person to talk to. You’re going to gravitate to someone who also has or has had similar mindset blocks but they can either be a step ahead of you or have an outside perspective and give you some advice how to stop being so hard on yourself. I actually have a few people for this and do go to different people for different blocks and struggles. You could confide in your personal best friends, who may not understand when you’re being hard on yourself. Our best connections and our most trusted friends come from networking in areas that interest us or may help a hobby or business. If you are working on your own business, I suggest, that you find a network that is within your industry to help you in various ways, including, getting out of your own way. If you are looking for a community, I highly suggest joining writing down some of what you would like to get out of the community then searching for one that would fit that (or a few).
For those who are freelances, I would check out Create Your Laptop Life. It is an amazing community with lots of education and networking.
5. Put it in perspective
Maybe you are blowing something out of proportion because of the negative thoughts swirling in your mind? Take a realistic look at it and put things into perspective. Was the situation as bad as you imagined it was? Don’t be surprised if your buddy tells you that you’re overreacting. Don’t be offended, just listen ..because they might be right. There are so many positive, beautiful and amazing things on the other side of your fear. And anything that doesn’t go as plan, always chalk it up to a learning experience and grow. Personally, a book that helped me put a lot in perspective is Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life by Gary John Bishop ..get it. Better if you can get the Audible version since it his voice. You're welcome.
6. Reach out and get help
If after, you do everything above you still feel like you’re not as good as you think you are, maybe it’s your intuition telling you that you are not ready for it yet. And that is completely fine! You have to be realistic about your abilities and skills. Reach out to your friends or network to find out what you may need to put in your toolbox – either knowledge or even someone to help you out because they know how.
7. Make sure you have a win section of your goal list
A WIN list is a list of accomplishments that I feel everybody needs, whether it be in their personal life or business life. Having a “win list” will allow you something to reflect on so you can see that you are worth it. That you have value. That you’re on a journey and always learning. So, if you do have a goal tracker make sure you have a section for little victories and big wins.
And most importantly don’t judge any size of an accomplishment. Even if it’s the first time you post an unfiltered selfie on your IG, write that on your win list! If you felt amazing after you took time for yourself, write that as a win. Anything you want. anything you accomplish..write it the right there. It is important on days that you may get down on yourself.
Your mind can be your biggest enemy but with the right tools …the right systems.. and the right friends you can get through the hardest day.
If you need help with goal setting or you just feel overwhelmed, set up a FREE call with me, I’m happy to help!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. hELP IS A FEW CLICKS AWAY..